So I never wanted to be one of those men who say “When I was your age” and “These kids today…” but… when I was your age, even some of the Top 40 songs were musically interesting and original, and these kids today listen to about 95% shite. Putting aside the stunning lack of creativity and actual talent (Formula A is: female singer with some talent, such as Fergie or Katy Perry, a hip hop artist either rapping or auto-tune singing, and a club beat with lyrics about being in a club, drinking/raising your glass and/or asking the DJ to play a certain jam so we can get out on the floor [whatchoo waitin' for?]), maybe the thing I despise most about current pop music is that the artists can’t even be bothered to construct actual rhymes.

Here’s a stanza from a very straightforward light rock song from 1975 — The Eagles’ “Lyin’ Eyes”:

Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess every form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is only
Given to a man with hands as cold as ice

Here’s a verse from the very popular 2009 Jason Mraz song “I’m Yours” (this particular song tortured me for months because my kids loved it — I’d rather be waterboarded by Rachel Maddow than hear this song again, ever. But I digress.):

Before the cool done run out I’ll be giving it my bestest
And nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some

Let’s leave to the side which lyrics are “better” and just address the technical issues. The Eagles created very pure rhythm and a perfect rhyme, plus some nice internal rhyme/assonance with “to a man with hands…” Jason Mraz is trying to pass off “bestest” (again, I’ll bite my tongue on how well that cutesy word works here) as a word that rhymes with “intervention.” Nails… chalkboard.

You can actually listen to entire songs on top 40 stations that are made up entirely of lines that end with somewhat similar sounds. But on the plus side, the songs themselves are derivative, trite, juvenile pieces of crap. Oh wait — there is no plus side.

– S